1 00:00:59,875 --> 00:01:05,000 Brought on a cool, clear morning the flight from L.A. to New York. 2 00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:06,958 It was still early in the morning, 3 00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:11,625 when I was in SoHo corner Spring Street and West Broadway arrived. 4 00:01:12,958 --> 00:01:17,166 From preparing the next film I took two weeks off. 5 00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,791 I was here to see Nick. 6 00:01:20,541 --> 00:01:22,375 Nicholas Ray, director of 7 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:26,250 "...because they don't know what they are doing", "Johnny Guitar" and other films, 8 00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:29,583 which have a fixed place have in the history of cinema. 9 00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:33,583 I went about two years ago up these stairs for the first time, 10 00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:37,083 as Nick agreed, to appear in my film: 11 00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:38,583 "The American Friend". 12 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:42,125 The role wasn't in the script. So we wrote it together, 13 00:01:42,208 --> 00:01:45,625 played a lot of backgammon and became good friends. 14 00:01:45,708 --> 00:01:46,875 Hello. 15 00:01:48,791 --> 00:01:50,375 It's good that you're here. 16 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:53,583 Nick is sleeping. I should wake him up when you come. 17 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,916 No, I'm tired and also want to get some sleep, 18 00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:03,916 - and you can tolerate even more. - Sleep over there. 19 00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:08,708 OK. See you later. 20 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,583 The last time I saw Nick three months ago 21 00:02:20,666 --> 00:02:23,791 at Sloane-Kettering Memorial Hospital. 22 00:02:23,958 --> 00:02:28,833 It was right after his third cancer operation in the same year. 23 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,833 We were able to don't even shake hands. 24 00:02:31,916 --> 00:02:35,500 The doctors gave him radioactive lines implanted in the chest. 25 00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:38,416 No one could help him get too close because of the radiation. 26 00:02:40,916 --> 00:02:42,875 A pretty daring procedure. 27 00:02:42,958 --> 00:02:46,708 Nick himself called, when he first told me about it: 28 00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:49,500 "Not sure, whether you should dare or not. 29 00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:53,000 "What are your prospects?", I asked him. 30 00:02:53,083 --> 00:02:55,500 "I could die doing this." 31 00:02:55,583 --> 00:02:57,166 "And if you don't?" 32 00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:59,250 "Then I'll die slowly." 33 00:03:04,791 --> 00:03:09,041 "I look at your life so far, I would say you dare to have the procedure." 34 00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:12,166 "You're damn right," he said. 35 00:03:14,041 --> 00:03:17,041 Even though I was dead tired from the flight, 36 00:03:17,125 --> 00:03:19,250 I couldn't fall asleep. 37 00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:28,083 The idea of coming to New York, had suddenly come to us, 38 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,583 during a telephone conversation just a few days ago. 39 00:03:31,666 --> 00:03:35,125 I didn't have the slightest idea what this should amount to. 40 00:03:36,708 --> 00:03:37,458 Good morning! 41 00:03:37,541 --> 00:03:43,458 It's a wonderful day! You can don't hang around all day. 42 00:03:43,541 --> 00:03:45,541 So come on now, it's time to get up, 43 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,875 brush your teeth and have breakfast. 44 00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:51,375 - Bye. - Shut up, you bitch! 45 00:03:53,541 --> 00:03:56,750 Good morning! It's a wonderful day! 46 00:03:56,833 --> 00:03:58,541 Damn it! 47 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,083 - Quiet! - So come on now, it is 48 00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:06,083 Time to get up, brush your teeth and have breakfast. Bye. 49 00:04:06,541 --> 00:04:08,208 You shit! 50 00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:17,833 Morning! 51 00:05:27,833 --> 00:05:31,458 One, two, three, four, 52 00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:33,708 six... 53 00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:38,750 seven, eight, nine, ten. 54 00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:37,916 Susan? 55 00:07:12,458 --> 00:07:13,875 I had a dream... 56 00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:24,041 I dreamed last night 57 00:07:25,833 --> 00:07:28,041 Sing on, brother, sing 58 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,583 I heard about a damn musical 59 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:37,875 dreamed in Venezuela. 60 00:08:18,041 --> 00:08:19,541 What's going on back there? 61 00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:23,083 What? 62 00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:24,750 Good morning, Nick. 63 00:08:26,458 --> 00:08:29,250 Hey, Wim, good morning. 64 00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:32,541 When did you arrive? 65 00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:34,291 Early, at six. 66 00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:38,875 To hell! I told Tom he should wake me up. 67 00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:41,750 He wanted to too, but I wouldn't let him. 68 00:08:43,583 --> 00:08:45,375 How long are you staying? 69 00:08:46,916 --> 00:08:48,583 As long as I can. 70 00:08:48,666 --> 00:08:49,875 Wonderful. 71 00:08:49,958 --> 00:08:52,625 - About a week, I hope. - Class! 72 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:05,333 I'm talking about a damn musical 73 00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:07,958 dreamed in Venezuela. 74 00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,625 For the close-up... 75 00:09:27,708 --> 00:09:32,083 the thirty-five and the camera even higher. 76 00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:34,750 He had the cigarette always in the left hand. 77 00:09:35,791 --> 00:09:37,791 Then he puts down the razor, 78 00:09:39,458 --> 00:09:41,000 takes the tape recorder, 79 00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:45,541 do that, put it away again, 80 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:50,000 scratches himself, lies back and shouts. This is the close-up. 81 00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:53,958 - Where is the tape recorder? - There, next to the ashtray. 82 00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:05,875 - Does it look like acting, Wim? - No, not at all. 83 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:11,708 We're shooting. 84 00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,000 Sound off. 85 00:10:14,625 --> 00:10:17,458 - Film off. - 20-3, second take. 86 00:10:20,041 --> 00:10:23,916 - How are you doing? - I want to start working again. 87 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:28,666 - Great, what about? - Oh, sounds pretty pretentious. 88 00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:30,750 I bet that's it too. 89 00:10:30,916 --> 00:10:32,375 Thank you very much. 90 00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:35,916 What are you working on? 91 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,291 To “Harnmett”. 92 00:10:38,041 --> 00:10:40,916 - How much is the budget? - Ten million. 93 00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,000 Not exactly unpretentious either. 94 00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:47,833 With one percent of that I could... 95 00:11:03,416 --> 00:11:05,375 Let off a THUNDER WEATHER. 96 00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:11,791 Susan? Good morning 97 00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:14,916 Are you there? 98 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,083 -Susan? -Wim? 99 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,791 We should make a film together. 100 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,750 If you want, we can start today. 101 00:11:28,166 --> 00:11:29,916 What is it supposed to be about? 102 00:11:41,625 --> 00:11:43,125 Do you edit with Tom? 103 00:11:43,625 --> 00:11:46,416 Yes, we have last night went through again. 104 00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:48,958 About what? 105 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:53,125 "We Can't Go Home Again". I'm trying to get him back in shape. 106 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:59,875 Hey, Wim, if we make a film together, 107 00:12:00,291 --> 00:12:02,083 we have to give Tom a job. 108 00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:07,916 Do you think it's wise having two guys in a movie 109 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,583 both of them on hers are blind in the right eye? 110 00:12:10,666 --> 00:12:13,625 - Say that again. - Give me the keyword again. 111 00:12:13,708 --> 00:12:15,041 Wim? 112 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:16,333 Yes? 113 00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:20,291 If we make a film together, we have to give Tom a job. 114 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,250 I don't know whether that would be such a good idea. 115 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:27,375 Do you have anything against one-eyed people? 116 00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:31,916 No, but two one-eyed figures are not a good cast. 117 00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:46,000 You are prejudiced against Brandon Marlo, Marlon Brando, 118 00:12:47,041 --> 00:12:48,250 Oskar Homolka. 119 00:12:52,958 --> 00:12:54,583 Why did you come here, Wim? 120 00:12:57,958 --> 00:13:00,166 I wanted to talk to you, Nick. 121 00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:03,708 About what? 122 00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:06,541 About dying? 123 00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:37,333 {\an8}NICK'S FILM: 124 00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:29,083 Did I smoke, Pat? 125 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,958 Are you ready? 126 00:16:51,208 --> 00:16:54,458 I didn't come to talk about dying, Nick. 127 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:59,791 I didn't come to talk about dying, Nick. 128 00:17:00,625 --> 00:17:05,000 - But maybe we will have to. - But maybe we will have to. 129 00:17:05,083 --> 00:17:09,208 I was looking forward to it, you to see. Because I need your advice 130 00:17:11,875 --> 00:17:14,500 and because you said on the phone, that I should come. 131 00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:16,625 But I was also afraid of it. 132 00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:22,833 And I believe I'd rather tell you why straight away. 133 00:17:23,666 --> 00:17:26,791 I knew how weakened I would find you. 134 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:31,791 And that maybe it's something for you would make a difference to be seen like that. 135 00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:51,625 But it's okay now, I think. 136 00:17:54,791 --> 00:17:59,208 Something different happened to me last night still in my head on the plane, 137 00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:02,208 This actually worries me even more: 138 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,083 that I could notice 139 00:18:07,166 --> 00:18:11,416 that your illness affects me or attract your suffering. 140 00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:13,333 And... 141 00:18:14,708 --> 00:18:19,416 If that were the case, I would have to I think, leave. 142 00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:29,583 I would feel as if I abuse you or betray you. 143 00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:36,333 That won't happen. 144 00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:46,666 Good. What are our plans? for the rest of the day? 145 00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:52,333 Just being together all day. 146 00:18:52,416 --> 00:18:55,500 Oh, for heaven's sake, I'm giving a lecture this evening. 147 00:18:55,583 --> 00:19:00,125 I make a few dollars here and there with lectures at girls' schools. 148 00:19:00,208 --> 00:19:02,416 - I'm coming with you, Nick. - Actually 149 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:05,708 it used to be a girls' school. Vassar. 150 00:19:06,375 --> 00:19:08,250 “Ringelpietz with touches”. 151 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,333 Today about 40% are boys there. That is progress. 152 00:19:14,791 --> 00:19:15,958 Shall we take a train? 153 00:19:17,416 --> 00:19:22,416 They have a car a limousine, rented for me, 154 00:19:24,125 --> 00:19:31,208 the most luxurious vehicle under the sun. 155 00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:34,375 It stretches almost from here to Poughkeepsie. 156 00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:39,125 I once had one of those myself. 157 00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:43,833 - What film are we watching? - "The Lusty Men". 158 00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,875 What should I talk about tonight? 159 00:20:11,916 --> 00:20:14,916 You ask me that every time. 160 00:20:18,041 --> 00:20:22,291 Why am I in my young years not been invited to Vassar? 161 00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:31,083 They're somehow not your type. 162 00:20:34,958 --> 00:20:38,708 Tom, get out of here! 163 00:20:41,791 --> 00:20:44,625 - Come on, Tom. - It's a nice setting. 164 00:20:45,666 --> 00:20:47,416 When do we get there? 165 00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:06,125 Towards the end of the trip we talked less and less. 166 00:21:06,875 --> 00:21:08,916 Everyone was thinking about their own thoughts. 167 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,958 We wanted to make a film, but we didn't have anything to say yet. 168 00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:16,958 For now, reality was our story. 169 00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:28,708 He probably did bought a one-way ticket. 170 00:25:20,125 --> 00:25:21,500 Oh, you are down there. 171 00:25:22,416 --> 00:25:24,625 Come out from under it very slowly. 172 00:25:30,791 --> 00:25:32,541 Why are you crawling under my house? 173 00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:36,000 I thought it was uninhabited. 174 00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:39,291 - Hey, how's the copy? - a good sixteen. 175 00:25:40,666 --> 00:25:41,916 And the sound? 176 00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:43,291 Shitty. 177 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:50,250 The scene where Mitchum returns home comes, crawls under the house, 178 00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:54,541 finds the magazine and the pistol, is really one of my... 179 00:25:54,625 --> 00:25:59,208 That says more about coming home than anything I've ever seen. 180 00:26:03,916 --> 00:26:06,875 Not all of us had a bad home. 181 00:26:08,625 --> 00:26:12,375 What does that actually mean: to come back “home”? 182 00:26:23,458 --> 00:26:28,500 ...a little warmth: a few of us find them, 183 00:26:28,583 --> 00:26:32,041 a few of us get also full of ass. 184 00:26:38,375 --> 00:26:43,708 I want to watch the rest of the film. We're on the podium to shoot. 185 00:26:44,875 --> 00:26:48,875 OK. I'm coming too. But first I have to get some rest. 186 00:26:57,458 --> 00:27:00,583 I didn't know any riders, who wasn't wild. 187 00:27:01,375 --> 00:27:04,000 If he wasn't wild, he wouldn't be a leader. 188 00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:10,875 What circles in solemn silence 189 00:27:11,041 --> 00:27:15,208 the dark ball of earth? 190 00:27:15,291 --> 00:27:20,083 Which, though voiceless and noiseless, 191 00:27:20,166 --> 00:27:25,541 is in the middle luminous celestial body? 192 00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:32,958 Where does that come from? From Arkansas? 193 00:27:34,833 --> 00:27:35,958 By Benjamin Britten. 194 00:27:37,541 --> 00:27:38,750 Honest? 195 00:27:39,666 --> 00:27:42,083 I've never heard you sing that before. 196 00:27:43,541 --> 00:27:45,083 Yes, you did. 197 00:27:45,166 --> 00:27:46,791 Yes? 198 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,875 At a funeral or a wedding? 199 00:27:53,375 --> 00:27:54,458 On the way to the bank. 200 00:27:54,541 --> 00:27:58,708 Aha! My favorite way! 201 00:28:01,250 --> 00:28:04,083 Come on, let's walk around the city. 202 00:28:05,416 --> 00:28:08,708 We won't get very far. It's a small town. 203 00:28:13,625 --> 00:28:15,750 I'll buy you some tomato soup. 204 00:29:06,083 --> 00:29:07,666 Thanks. 205 00:29:12,541 --> 00:29:16,791 I thank you, Mr. Steerman, for your hospitality. 206 00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:27,375 I'm just about to to make a film, and now you too. 207 00:29:31,125 --> 00:29:35,708 We catch our film 208 00:29:37,416 --> 00:29:43,041 with the same specification, 209 00:29:43,125 --> 00:29:45,291 which we had with "The Lusty Man". 210 00:29:46,958 --> 00:29:49,208 A little backstory, 211 00:29:52,708 --> 00:29:55,791 which we have with 26 pages of script started spinning, 212 00:29:56,958 --> 00:29:58,833 and then we wrote every night. 213 00:30:00,375 --> 00:30:02,208 So you could 214 00:30:03,166 --> 00:30:07,625 not rely on much more than on the instinct of the actors 215 00:30:07,708 --> 00:30:12,500 and their reactions to that, what we had shot the day before. 216 00:30:12,583 --> 00:30:19,083 Sophisticated constructions à la Henry James were not in there. 217 00:30:24,583 --> 00:30:27,375 The closer I get to the end, 218 00:30:28,916 --> 00:30:32,333 the more I want always rewrite the beginning; 219 00:30:34,083 --> 00:30:39,000 and usually has on the last page 220 00:30:40,708 --> 00:30:46,625 the end redefines the beginning, 221 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,791 and you have to start over again. 222 00:30:52,416 --> 00:30:57,625 However, “Lusty Men” is not a Western. 223 00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:04,041 This film is actually a film about people 224 00:31:05,625 --> 00:31:08,416 who want to own their own home. 225 00:31:09,583 --> 00:31:13,875 That was what the Americans were after 226 00:31:15,166 --> 00:31:17,166 most sought after at that time. 227 00:31:18,416 --> 00:31:22,833 I have all the archives checked in Washington, 228 00:31:24,208 --> 00:31:27,083 and searched for information like 229 00:31:28,083 --> 00:31:31,541 "What is your greatest goal in life?" 230 00:31:32,208 --> 00:31:36,166 And the answer was over 90% to have your own house. 231 00:31:37,916 --> 00:31:40,541 That's what this film is about. 232 00:31:40,708 --> 00:31:44,041 I am concerned with the question, whether I am with my work 233 00:31:44,125 --> 00:31:47,666 create an art form or not, by being strict 234 00:31:47,833 --> 00:31:50,500 adhere to the reproduction of reality. 235 00:31:50,583 --> 00:31:57,083 Is there that playback is art and then again it's not, 236 00:32:01,750 --> 00:32:08,500 reality dream or not dream? 237 00:32:17,541 --> 00:32:22,500 The "reality" can be for a madman... 238 00:32:23,583 --> 00:32:28,125 - which some consider the perfect adaptation to call our society - 239 00:32:28,958 --> 00:32:32,958 ...be a complete dreamland. 240 00:32:50,458 --> 00:32:53,500 "Stanislavsky" was a swear word. 241 00:32:56,541 --> 00:32:58,625 "Improvisation" too. 242 00:33:01,458 --> 00:33:05,791 I think it's because of this abundance of talent in Hollywood, 243 00:33:06,458 --> 00:33:11,500 that I feel so comfortable there, as much as I hate living there. 244 00:33:11,583 --> 00:33:13,208 Since when have you been recording the tapes? 245 00:33:13,291 --> 00:33:15,833 Every night you go home... 246 00:33:17,166 --> 00:33:18,541 For a few weeks. 247 00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:21,916 “And thinks, “What a waste!” 248 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,791 I don't like the lifestyle. I have times. I thought it was great for a while, 249 00:33:30,875 --> 00:33:34,666 but I didn't manage it, what I wanted to do. 250 00:33:34,833 --> 00:33:36,500 Did Nick tell you to record him? 251 00:33:36,583 --> 00:33:40,625 ...very seductive. It's easy to compromise. 252 00:33:42,833 --> 00:33:48,958 And if you say no a few times, you are considered difficult, 253 00:33:50,458 --> 00:33:52,833 and you're already through the bottom. 254 00:33:52,916 --> 00:33:54,958 - Goodnight, Wim. - Goodnight, Tom. 255 00:33:55,125 --> 00:33:56,333 Sleep well. 256 00:33:59,458 --> 00:34:01,041 What is the new film about? 257 00:34:05,458 --> 00:34:10,500 The film is about a man, 258 00:34:10,583 --> 00:34:13,458 who wants to come to terms with himself, before he dies. 259 00:34:27,458 --> 00:34:30,750 A regaining of self-respect. 260 00:34:35,458 --> 00:34:38,500 A once very successful man. 261 00:34:40,833 --> 00:34:42,833 I was very confused. 262 00:34:43,458 --> 00:34:45,083 Every time something happened, 263 00:34:45,166 --> 00:34:50,041 when the camera was pointed at Nick, which I had no control over. 264 00:34:50,750 --> 00:34:52,541 It was in the camera itself. 265 00:34:52,625 --> 00:34:55,666 She looked at Nick through the viewfinder. 266 00:34:55,750 --> 00:34:57,958 Like a very precise instrument 267 00:34:58,458 --> 00:35:01,333 showed the camera clearly and without mercy, 268 00:35:02,125 --> 00:35:04,375 that he didn't have much time left. 269 00:35:04,458 --> 00:35:07,541 With the naked eye You couldn't tell. 270 00:35:07,625 --> 00:35:11,000 There was always hope, but not in the camera. 271 00:35:11,666 --> 00:35:13,750 I couldn't cope with that. 272 00:35:13,833 --> 00:35:15,416 I was dreading it. 273 00:35:23,958 --> 00:35:25,625 -Wim? - Yes? 274 00:35:26,416 --> 00:35:27,958 Come in. 275 00:35:31,708 --> 00:35:33,875 I want to read you the introduction. 276 00:35:40,833 --> 00:35:42,583 When did you write that? 277 00:35:43,333 --> 00:35:44,583 Just now. 278 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,708 This is a film about an artist, 279 00:35:52,750 --> 00:35:54,166 who is 60 years old. 280 00:35:55,416 --> 00:35:58,791 He has with his early pictures made a lot of money. 281 00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:04,000 However, he fails to to sell its current production. 282 00:36:04,083 --> 00:36:07,125 Besides the money he has another big need: 283 00:36:07,208 --> 00:36:11,000 his own identity so far as possible before he dies. 284 00:36:13,125 --> 00:36:16,041 He is incurable has cancer and knows it. 285 00:36:17,958 --> 00:36:21,625 To regain possession of his old one To get pictures, he steals them 286 00:36:22,333 --> 00:36:26,250 and fakes them and tries 287 00:36:26,416 --> 00:36:31,083 if at all possible, on this his pictures hanging in museums 288 00:36:31,666 --> 00:36:33,583 to replace with his counterfeits. 289 00:36:33,666 --> 00:36:36,375 This is a lot of fun for him. 290 00:36:38,208 --> 00:36:41,750 With his current girlfriend he has been living together for five years. 291 00:36:42,708 --> 00:36:44,791 He is 40 years older than her. 292 00:36:44,958 --> 00:36:49,833 Nevertheless, they are alive happy and content on one floor 293 00:36:49,916 --> 00:36:52,000 at the corner of Spring Street and Broadway. 294 00:36:52,166 --> 00:36:54,541 His neighbor, a Chinese laundry owner, 295 00:36:54,625 --> 00:36:57,083 is his only friend. 296 00:36:57,958 --> 00:36:59,875 They have become good friends. 297 00:36:59,958 --> 00:37:03,333 He lends Nick some money from time to time, 298 00:37:04,416 --> 00:37:07,875 that he from his meager income. 299 00:37:08,625 --> 00:37:10,541 He is also suffering from cancer. 300 00:37:11,458 --> 00:37:15,500 Both try to bear it with humor, which they don't always succeed. 301 00:37:18,500 --> 00:37:19,958 I actually like that. 302 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,250 Why the detour to make him a painter, 303 00:37:25,333 --> 00:37:27,708 since it bears your name? 304 00:37:29,208 --> 00:37:34,083 Why isn't he you? and makes films instead of painting? 305 00:37:35,208 --> 00:37:38,583 That's you, Nick. Why refrain from it? 306 00:37:38,666 --> 00:37:40,125 If you think... 307 00:37:42,083 --> 00:37:43,416 Okay. 308 00:37:44,166 --> 00:37:47,000 Why not a film make it about you? 309 00:37:47,083 --> 00:37:49,125 Then it must be about you too. 310 00:37:50,333 --> 00:37:54,375 I think we'll just do it this film continues here, huh? 311 00:37:54,458 --> 00:37:58,250 My “action” is 312 00:38:03,166 --> 00:38:05,875 to restore my self-image 313 00:38:06,041 --> 00:38:08,500 and the picture, that people in the world have from me. 314 00:38:09,250 --> 00:38:13,458 And you, you have to choose your own “action”. 315 00:38:14,750 --> 00:38:19,166 And find the one the one that comes closest to you. 316 00:38:19,250 --> 00:38:24,166 An actor has to find out 317 00:38:24,916 --> 00:38:31,166 which is the biggest personal needs of his respective role. 318 00:38:31,250 --> 00:38:33,666 My action is determined by yours. 319 00:38:34,416 --> 00:38:38,333 My action is defined by that you look death in the eyes. 320 00:38:42,333 --> 00:38:47,666 That would mean that you use me. Which I don't mind. 321 00:38:49,541 --> 00:38:51,791 My God, that's what I'm here for after all. 322 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,333 Do you feel like playing backgammon? 323 00:39:09,333 --> 00:39:10,500 Nothing better than that. 324 00:39:12,291 --> 00:39:13,791 You have the white ones. 325 00:39:14,541 --> 00:39:16,666 That's a good thing. What are we playing for? 326 00:39:17,666 --> 00:39:20,208 - One dollar per point. - It's your turn. 327 00:39:25,666 --> 00:39:26,708 I'd be happy to. 328 00:39:47,458 --> 00:39:50,041 It's so cold outside, even though the sun is shining. 329 00:39:50,125 --> 00:39:51,500 Yes. 330 00:39:52,708 --> 00:39:56,125 You are completely open, I'm completely open. 331 00:39:59,958 --> 00:40:02,458 And if you again would you have to go to the hospital? 332 00:40:04,250 --> 00:40:08,500 No problem as long as you're here. 333 00:40:08,583 --> 00:40:10,750 No worries while you're here. 334 00:40:10,833 --> 00:40:12,708 The movie is a mess, Nick. 335 00:40:12,875 --> 00:40:14,250 The sound is out of sync, 336 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,708 There are glue spots everywhere. 337 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,833 That never goes through the projector. 338 00:40:22,916 --> 00:40:23,791 What? 339 00:40:23,958 --> 00:40:27,791 What scenes could you imagine? imagine for our film? 340 00:40:29,708 --> 00:40:32,833 Oh, let me first win this game here. 341 00:40:37,083 --> 00:40:38,791 It's your turn. 342 00:40:40,125 --> 00:40:42,333 How do you want our movie to end, Nick? 343 00:40:43,041 --> 00:40:47,375 I'm still in favor of one Chinese junk sailing out, 344 00:40:47,458 --> 00:40:50,375 over and over decorated with red flowers. 345 00:40:50,916 --> 00:40:53,833 - On the Hudson? - On the Hudson, towards the sea. 346 00:41:10,541 --> 00:41:12,208 Done, Nick. 347 00:41:15,166 --> 00:41:20,375 I heard about a “Festival of Light” Read in Chicago, Illinois. 348 00:41:21,208 --> 00:41:24,291 Then I remembered to a governor of Illinois, 349 00:41:25,125 --> 00:41:29,541 the one in the 19th century a party had forbidden, 350 00:41:29,625 --> 00:41:33,041 hold their party conference there with the justification, 351 00:41:33,208 --> 00:41:37,583 such a demonstration could provoke unrest and violence. 352 00:41:38,791 --> 00:41:43,291 I was in the city for barely three hours, they already had me there 353 00:41:44,291 --> 00:41:46,583 chased away with tear gas and smashed my camera. 354 00:41:46,750 --> 00:41:50,291 This is the Federal Court of Justice. 355 00:41:50,375 --> 00:41:56,500 Men like Tom Hayden were accused. Rennie Davis, John Froines, 356 00:41:57,333 --> 00:42:00,791 Jerry Rubin, Dave Dellinger, a Quaker, 357 00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:03,791 Abbie Hoffman. This is Bill Kunstler. 358 00:42:04,291 --> 00:42:06,625 I staged the end of the trial. 359 00:42:06,708 --> 00:42:09,208 Gradually disappeared most people. 360 00:42:09,291 --> 00:42:13,625 I really wondered, where they all stayed. 361 00:42:14,458 --> 00:42:17,375 So I wanted her find somewhere else. 362 00:42:18,125 --> 00:42:23,750 Luckily I was given a job at one University in New York State. 363 00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:27,541 Hell, I decided buy a cane, 364 00:42:27,708 --> 00:42:32,250 to grow a goatee, put on a sly smile, 365 00:42:32,333 --> 00:42:35,833 and them with my eloquence, 366 00:42:35,916 --> 00:42:38,791 rebelliousness and importance to impress. 367 00:42:39,500 --> 00:42:41,958 Education is big business. 368 00:43:01,291 --> 00:43:06,208 We filmed that and filmed again - 369 00:43:06,291 --> 00:43:11,333 of mirrors, metal plates and plexiglass, 370 00:43:13,375 --> 00:43:14,666 to 35 mm, 371 00:43:16,250 --> 00:43:18,875 16mm, Super 16, 372 00:43:19,541 --> 00:43:24,791 Super 8, 8mm, video synthesizer. 373 00:43:26,125 --> 00:43:27,458 Every shit, 374 00:43:27,625 --> 00:43:30,208 everything humanly possible. I do not know either. 375 00:43:40,666 --> 00:43:43,416 Are you the new professor of film? 376 00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:46,208 - Yes, I think so. - Don't you know? 377 00:43:46,958 --> 00:43:48,375 What shouldn't I know? 378 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:58,041 Don't you have that Eskimo movie made with Anthony Quinn? 379 00:43:58,500 --> 00:44:01,500 And "...for they do not know what they do" is also yours, right? 380 00:44:01,583 --> 00:44:04,583 - Yes, did you like it? - It wasn't bad. 381 00:44:05,625 --> 00:44:07,541 - “Johnny Guitar”? - Yes, too. 382 00:44:08,625 --> 00:44:11,125 Then what the hell are you doing here? 383 00:44:12,958 --> 00:44:14,375 That's nice. 384 00:44:16,583 --> 00:44:19,583 It's good if one You like your own work, right? 385 00:44:20,666 --> 00:44:25,708 I wanted to see if you had this eye you are blind. The same as me. 386 00:44:25,791 --> 00:44:29,375 Damn, that's right. How did that happen? 387 00:44:31,083 --> 00:44:35,875 When I was 13, I challenged a boy, shooting me with the arrow. 388 00:44:37,250 --> 00:44:39,708 - Did you have an apple on your head? - No. 389 00:44:40,625 --> 00:44:42,083 How did you lose yours? 390 00:44:42,166 --> 00:44:46,916 - In Chicago, at the conspiracy trial. - You were there? 391 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:47,958 Yes. 392 00:44:52,458 --> 00:44:54,083 Sorry. 393 00:44:55,166 --> 00:44:58,458 -Did I hurt you with my fist? - No. 394 00:45:01,125 --> 00:45:05,583 - Did you hurt your fist? - No. I wanted to hit harder, 395 00:45:05,666 --> 00:45:09,458 but that was the first time, that I hit someone. 396 00:45:09,541 --> 00:45:11,125 Shall I teach you? 397 00:45:11,958 --> 00:45:13,416 No. 398 00:45:13,958 --> 00:45:16,000 Otherwise I could still go for it. 399 00:45:16,083 --> 00:45:20,041 I've reached a point, where I start having fun. 400 00:45:20,125 --> 00:45:21,416 Hey, are you looking for something? 401 00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,416 You don't see very well, do you? 402 00:45:25,375 --> 00:45:26,750 I see well enough. 403 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,625 I'm just looking for a dry eye patch. 404 00:45:31,708 --> 00:45:33,666 Maybe I can help you. 405 00:45:50,541 --> 00:45:52,958 Hey, here's one. It's fine. 406 00:45:53,875 --> 00:45:56,416 Shall I help you tie them on? 407 00:45:56,500 --> 00:45:58,208 Thank you. 408 00:45:59,375 --> 00:46:03,416 What was the girl's name, that you tried to fuck? 409 00:46:03,500 --> 00:46:07,125 Her name is...Her name is Jill. I lived with her last year. 410 00:46:07,208 --> 00:46:09,791 "Trying to fuck" is therefore not entirely correct. 411 00:46:09,875 --> 00:46:11,916 New laces for an old shoe? 412 00:46:12,750 --> 00:46:15,458 I live with someone else now. Do you understand? 413 00:46:16,333 --> 00:46:17,916 That's your business. 414 00:46:18,875 --> 00:46:20,250 Her name is Leslie. 415 00:46:22,125 --> 00:46:23,583 And leave them alone. 416 00:46:24,291 --> 00:46:26,375 - Is she into you? - And how! 417 00:46:29,583 --> 00:46:33,416 Your file says you are expelled from your last college. 418 00:46:33,583 --> 00:46:36,333 - Why? - I was chairman of the SDS. 419 00:46:36,416 --> 00:46:40,416 Really? And now stop you get out of the fight? 420 00:46:40,583 --> 00:46:42,125 I'm in the middle of one. 421 00:46:42,708 --> 00:46:45,125 - With yourself? - No, with you. 422 00:46:46,875 --> 00:46:49,458 Good morning, Nick. Sit down. 423 00:46:49,875 --> 00:46:51,916 Thank you, no, Mr. President. 424 00:46:52,708 --> 00:46:57,416 - Would you like coffee? - No thank you, Mr. President. 425 00:46:59,291 --> 00:47:03,750 It's about... It's about these syringes, that we found... 426 00:48:26,166 --> 00:48:32,291 Early in the evening, Tom and I debated, whether Nick would be like a father to us. 427 00:48:32,875 --> 00:48:36,000 Tom was of the opinion but I angrily refused, 428 00:48:36,083 --> 00:48:39,041 because I wanted to see Nick as he was, 429 00:48:39,125 --> 00:48:42,875 as himself, without the obstacle, to see a father in him. 430 00:48:43,458 --> 00:48:47,750 But perhaps there was no other choice with a friend who is 30 years older. 431 00:48:49,416 --> 00:48:52,916 It was important to me how the film turned out affected our friendship. 432 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:56,750 I was under more and more pressure, to make a film. 433 00:48:56,833 --> 00:49:00,416 I was busy with the work itself 434 00:49:00,500 --> 00:49:04,625 and with the sheer mechanics, Create recordings and schedules 435 00:49:04,708 --> 00:49:07,958 instead of taking care of Nick. 436 00:49:14,333 --> 00:49:17,750 I slept that night none of us very much. 437 00:49:17,833 --> 00:49:20,500 Sleep also brought no comfort. 438 00:49:21,208 --> 00:49:24,166 In my dream I continued shooting the film. 439 00:49:24,250 --> 00:49:26,666 The camera was always there. 440 00:49:33,750 --> 00:49:35,333 You make it seem like I'm solo. 441 00:49:45,500 --> 00:49:47,625 You turn away, 442 00:49:48,791 --> 00:49:56,041 and when you turn your head back, are you covered in tears 443 00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:58,875 or shaken by anger. 444 00:49:59,458 --> 00:50:03,541 Could you use your head Turn a little more towards me? Ready, Nick? 445 00:50:04,541 --> 00:50:07,375 Turn your head towards the camera. 446 00:50:15,125 --> 00:50:16,541 Action! 447 00:50:17,875 --> 00:50:20,708 I didn't come, to talk about dying, Nick. 448 00:50:20,791 --> 00:50:23,458 But maybe we will have to. 449 00:50:46,875 --> 00:50:51,791 Even when you wake up you just end up in a nightmare again. 450 00:50:52,625 --> 00:50:54,000 That could mean: 451 00:50:54,083 --> 00:50:58,625 The lights are set up, the camera and the sound is playing and the crew is watching. 452 00:50:59,166 --> 00:51:01,791 She always watched - silently. 453 00:51:02,875 --> 00:51:05,625 Everyone with their own Thoughts and fears about it 454 00:51:05,708 --> 00:51:08,916 what we were doing or where this would lead. 455 00:51:09,458 --> 00:51:12,458 I just knew that Nick was in terrible pain 456 00:51:12,541 --> 00:51:14,791 and it is better, cancel filming, 457 00:51:14,875 --> 00:51:18,375 but that nothing would hurt more than that. 458 00:51:25,291 --> 00:51:29,041 The next morning I had to call the production office in L.A. 459 00:51:29,125 --> 00:51:32,208 and my fears came true. 460 00:51:32,291 --> 00:51:34,916 I should be there the next day. 461 00:51:38,958 --> 00:51:41,125 Why does he have to suffer so much? 462 00:51:44,458 --> 00:51:46,250 Is it that bad every night? 463 00:52:01,875 --> 00:52:02,875 Come on, let's go back. 464 00:52:02,958 --> 00:52:07,166 Tom was disappointed, that filming was interrupted, 465 00:52:07,250 --> 00:52:10,125 more for Nick's sake as for its own sake. 466 00:52:10,208 --> 00:52:15,500 On the way to the loft we glimpsed, as Nick and Susan got into a taxi. 467 00:52:15,583 --> 00:52:20,416 Where to? We had prepared a scene, which we wanted to shoot soon. 468 00:52:35,458 --> 00:52:39,375 - What's wrong, Chris? - Susan takes Nick to the hospital. 469 00:52:40,250 --> 00:52:43,208 He was feeling bad. That's why he wanted to go there. 470 00:52:43,291 --> 00:52:49,000 To Memorial Hospital, York Avenue between 67th and 68th streets. 471 00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:51,583 - Is he in pain? - Yes, of couse. 472 00:52:52,250 --> 00:52:55,625 - Did he throw up again? - Yes. He was very sick. 473 00:53:04,083 --> 00:53:05,750 The crew was very quiet. 474 00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:08,416 During the last two weeks of filming 475 00:53:08,791 --> 00:53:11,208 Nick has become very close to everyone. 476 00:53:11,625 --> 00:53:14,708 His strength was disappeared before our eyes. 477 00:53:16,166 --> 00:53:19,000 We all knew that this could happen at any time. 478 00:53:19,083 --> 00:53:23,791 He has an addendum to his Will dictated before he left. 479 00:53:25,500 --> 00:53:29,125 The same paralyzing fear resurfaced. 480 00:53:29,208 --> 00:53:31,333 Was I asking too much of Nick? 481 00:53:31,416 --> 00:53:34,083 Where did my responsibility begin? 482 00:53:34,166 --> 00:53:35,833 And where did it end? 483 00:53:36,708 --> 00:53:39,000 Tom and I drove directly to the hospital. 484 00:53:39,166 --> 00:53:41,583 We took the video camera with us. 485 00:53:42,416 --> 00:53:46,208 I just wanted something new let it go through your head... 486 00:53:46,791 --> 00:53:48,541 Not always the old clichés. 487 00:54:06,416 --> 00:54:10,500 I thought we could think about our situation, 488 00:54:10,583 --> 00:54:12,416 after two weeks of filming. 489 00:54:18,083 --> 00:54:22,541 Somehow I find that we are no further than where we started, 490 00:54:22,625 --> 00:54:26,583 at most even further away from each other and what we planned to do. 491 00:54:26,666 --> 00:54:28,500 It was probably the... 492 00:54:32,791 --> 00:54:36,458 mutual enthusiasm, 493 00:54:37,291 --> 00:54:41,375 which initially made everything seem right. 494 00:54:47,250 --> 00:54:49,750 And then... 495 00:54:49,833 --> 00:54:54,291 For me the pressure has changed a lot 496 00:54:56,458 --> 00:55:00,666 Since I have the feeling that this film is harming you. 497 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,416 And since I... 498 00:55:09,083 --> 00:55:13,625 have this Oedipus feeling, that the film could kill you. 499 00:55:16,625 --> 00:55:18,625 I was paralyzed by this thought. 500 00:55:26,125 --> 00:55:28,208 First of all, I didn't want to 501 00:55:34,375 --> 00:55:38,416 that you or anyone else feels self-conscious about... 502 00:55:43,166 --> 00:55:46,666 into a predicament is brought about by my illness. 503 00:55:46,750 --> 00:55:48,500 I also wanted... 504 00:55:56,958 --> 00:56:02,458 that you felt free, to keep shooting whenever you could. 505 00:56:03,583 --> 00:56:07,916 I pushed on as hard as I could, 506 00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:12,625 and... 507 00:56:16,375 --> 00:56:18,916 then it was a great relief 508 00:56:19,750 --> 00:56:22,833 than me more and more could leave to you. 509 00:56:23,666 --> 00:56:27,000 And that was a good thing. I felt very comfortable in those days. 510 00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,500 The uncertainty, which I fell into after a while, 511 00:56:39,708 --> 00:56:45,708 through the whole mess and all the unconscious fears, 512 00:56:45,791 --> 00:56:50,041 all of this led me to Taking pictures that I didn't like. 513 00:56:50,125 --> 00:56:54,291 I think you felt the same way when you did saw the patterns last night. 514 00:56:54,708 --> 00:57:00,333 The whole movie, whatever, looked so clean, beautiful, licked. 515 00:57:00,416 --> 00:57:02,041 Yes. 516 00:57:02,708 --> 00:57:06,250 I think that's the only thing a result of fear. 517 00:57:06,333 --> 00:57:12,208 That's exactly what you do when you... don't know exactly what you want to show. 518 00:57:12,291 --> 00:57:15,625 Then you try at least make it look nice. 519 00:57:34,500 --> 00:57:38,416 I don't even have the simplest things got under control. 520 00:57:42,833 --> 00:57:46,041 I went back to the empty loft, to get my suitcase. 521 00:57:47,333 --> 00:57:52,458 In the hospital, Susan gave me Nicks Diary started two years ago. 522 00:57:53,041 --> 00:57:54,958 This before his first operation. 523 00:57:55,583 --> 00:57:59,708 She asked me to take it on the way to Los Angeles to read. 524 00:58:02,333 --> 00:58:08,291 "Today Susan asked Dr. B., how to overcome fear, 525 00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:11,250 "Was she asking for herself or for me? 526 00:58:14,375 --> 00:58:16,708 "Dr. B. looked at me and said: 527 00:58:16,875 --> 00:58:18,750 "'Through confrontation.' 528 00:58:19,833 --> 00:58:21,708 "Pretty vague. That's supposed to mean, 529 00:58:21,791 --> 00:58:24,750 "what you fear, to look straight in the eye. 530 00:58:24,833 --> 00:58:27,750 "Hardly any remedy for the pain. 531 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:30,125 "What about love? 532 00:58:30,666 --> 00:58:32,958 "Fight fear with love." 533 00:58:33,333 --> 00:58:35,583 "Even the desire to love helps, 534 00:58:36,291 --> 00:58:38,750 "to pretend yourself As a love, you can help. 535 00:58:39,791 --> 00:58:42,750 "I want to live, because I'll miss breathing. 536 00:58:43,375 --> 00:58:46,250 "I want to live, because I'll miss breathing. 537 00:58:46,333 --> 00:58:48,083 "It must be very uncomfortable. 538 00:58:48,166 --> 00:58:52,416 "It makes me angry when I don't can breathe, taste and say hello. 539 00:58:56,375 --> 00:58:59,875 "I spit blood and it's scaring me this morning. 540 00:59:00,291 --> 00:59:02,250 "Sadness. 541 00:59:04,958 --> 00:59:08,333 "It's a panic fear, that I have never experienced before. 542 00:59:08,833 --> 00:59:12,333 "In the taxi on the way to the airport I asked myself, 543 00:59:12,416 --> 00:59:16,458 "since what an early age I wanted to die. 544 00:59:17,875 --> 00:59:21,250 "Maybe not die, but experience death. 545 00:59:22,208 --> 00:59:27,625 "Experience death without dying," seemed like a natural target to me. 546 00:59:52,666 --> 00:59:54,916 "An actor every line has to say this, 547 00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:58,416 "as if it were the very first thing or the very last time, 548 00:59:58,500 --> 01:00:00,708 "that he says them. 549 01:00:01,791 --> 01:00:03,541 "In my job I have 550 01:00:04,250 --> 01:00:07,250 "Had this problem for 50 years. 551 01:00:07,875 --> 01:00:10,458 "Now I'm dying of cancer. 552 01:00:10,541 --> 01:00:13,083 "The day and the hour Death is uncertain. 553 01:00:13,583 --> 01:00:17,208 "And in three weeks I play a general 554 01:00:17,625 --> 01:00:20,041 "in a film version of 'Hair'. 555 01:00:30,083 --> 01:00:34,541 "Curiosity, imagination, humility." 556 01:00:37,291 --> 01:00:40,500 Four weeks later I came back to New York. 557 01:00:40,583 --> 01:00:45,041 This time with my wife Ronee. Nick's condition had not improved. 558 01:00:45,125 --> 01:00:49,375 He was still in the hospital, but the doctors let him out in the afternoon. 559 01:00:49,458 --> 01:00:51,375 He worked with Gerry 560 01:00:51,458 --> 01:00:55,416 an adaptation of Kafka "A report for an academy". 561 01:00:56,166 --> 01:00:57,500 Than what? 562 01:00:57,666 --> 01:00:59,541 As a monkey. 563 01:01:03,083 --> 01:01:05,375 Mr Pimmel, 564 01:01:09,333 --> 01:01:13,541 excuse me, if that is not your correct name, 565 01:01:13,625 --> 01:01:17,416 but this is your first introduction into society, 566 01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:21,583 and there can be such inaccuracies ever happen. 567 01:01:21,666 --> 01:01:24,125 Gerry, I had the feeling 568 01:01:26,250 --> 01:01:32,166 the second time had more expressive than the first time. 569 01:01:33,500 --> 01:01:35,500 Do you think we can fix this? 570 01:01:36,041 --> 01:01:39,041 - I don't know. I can try it. - Try it. 571 01:01:39,208 --> 01:01:43,291 Put yourself in a different situation, if you want. 572 01:01:43,375 --> 01:01:45,000 change your clothes, 573 01:01:48,375 --> 01:01:49,958 in your imagination. 574 01:01:55,833 --> 01:01:59,666 - Populate it with the Puritans. - I'm sorry, what? 575 01:01:59,833 --> 01:02:03,875 - Populate it with the Puritans. - Okay. 576 01:02:05,291 --> 01:02:09,541 - Any other questions? - Any other advice? 577 01:02:10,541 --> 01:02:12,875 No, you're just doing well, Gerry. 578 01:02:16,500 --> 01:02:17,666 So let's try it. 579 01:02:29,541 --> 01:02:31,833 First I would like to note, 580 01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:36,541 that I never would have been able to achieve 581 01:02:36,625 --> 01:02:38,416 what I have accomplished 582 01:02:38,583 --> 01:02:41,000 I would have been stubborn 583 01:02:42,083 --> 01:02:45,541 of the memories of my youth 584 01:02:45,708 --> 01:02:50,250 and recorded my origins. And then I would like to add, 585 01:02:51,333 --> 01:02:55,333 that I feel more comfortable felt in the human world, 586 01:02:55,416 --> 01:02:58,500 that I felt more comfortable there, 587 01:02:58,583 --> 01:03:03,333 after the storm that hit me lingered from my past, 588 01:03:03,416 --> 01:03:04,916 had calmed down. 589 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:11,791 Today it's just a breeze, that cools my heels. 590 01:03:12,458 --> 01:03:15,750 Frankly, ladies and gentlemen: 591 01:03:15,833 --> 01:03:22,541 Your apeism, if you have something like that behind you 592 01:03:23,041 --> 01:03:25,250 can't help you 593 01:03:25,416 --> 01:03:29,833 be further away than mine. 594 01:03:29,916 --> 01:03:37,291 And of course it tickles everyone on the heel, 595 01:03:38,833 --> 01:03:41,958 the great Achilles 596 01:03:46,458 --> 01:03:52,000 the great Achilles like the little chimpanzee. 597 01:03:53,583 --> 01:03:55,083 It's the same, 598 01:03:55,166 --> 01:04:00,000 you see, we are all coming 599 01:04:05,500 --> 01:04:07,625 therefore. 600 01:04:09,041 --> 01:04:12,583 I, uh, I... 601 01:04:15,708 --> 01:04:19,541 I'm from the Gold Coast. 602 01:04:22,750 --> 01:04:24,166 From Africa. 603 01:04:26,250 --> 01:04:27,833 Hey, Wim. 604 01:04:28,333 --> 01:04:30,333 - Hey, Ronee. - Hey, Nick. 605 01:04:33,833 --> 01:04:35,250 How are you doing? 606 01:04:35,416 --> 01:04:36,833 Quite good. 607 01:04:36,916 --> 01:04:38,666 Nice to see you. 608 01:04:38,833 --> 01:04:43,208 - Thanks. I'm happy to see you too see. - It's good to be here again. 609 01:04:43,291 --> 01:04:45,250 Good to have you back, Wim. 610 01:04:45,333 --> 01:04:46,958 How long were you in the hospital? 611 01:04:49,958 --> 01:04:52,500 I don't know I don't know, I don't know. 612 01:04:52,666 --> 01:04:54,416 Go ahead, Gerry. 613 01:04:57,458 --> 01:04:59,041 Keep going. 614 01:05:06,875 --> 01:05:09,291 Should I try... since we're starting again anyway, 615 01:05:09,458 --> 01:05:15,208 - should I try something else? - No no. Keep going. 616 01:05:15,375 --> 01:05:17,125 From where? 617 01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,416 From... 618 01:05:22,250 --> 01:05:24,125 That stupid monkey. 619 01:05:26,708 --> 01:05:29,166 In terms of expressiveness, 620 01:05:29,250 --> 01:05:30,958 you find that there now is something at stake? 621 01:05:31,041 --> 01:05:32,541 Does it sound like the first time? 622 01:05:33,583 --> 01:05:35,166 - Yes. - Okay. 623 01:05:38,125 --> 01:05:42,583 During, uh, over the course of During my imprisonment I was... 624 01:05:42,666 --> 01:05:45,875 I was shot twice. Once in the neck, 625 01:05:46,041 --> 01:05:52,625 and then I became one more hit harder, below the hip, 626 01:05:53,416 --> 01:05:56,916 which is why I still limp a little today. 627 01:05:57,583 --> 01:06:02,833 I recently read an essay 628 01:06:02,916 --> 01:06:04,541 from one of the ten thousand 629 01:06:04,708 --> 01:06:10,166 Cream puffs that are write about me in the newspapers, 630 01:06:10,250 --> 01:06:15,916 and he wrote that my monkey nature not yet completely suppressed. 631 01:06:16,083 --> 01:06:21,833 Proof of this is that I would prefer to lower my pants, 632 01:06:21,916 --> 01:06:25,375 to show the bullet point. 633 01:06:26,875 --> 01:06:28,291 So... 634 01:06:28,375 --> 01:06:32,666 The guy should have every finger on his hand 635 01:06:32,750 --> 01:06:35,625 be broken individually. 636 01:06:36,375 --> 01:06:41,291 I can still take my pants down, whenever I want, I have nothing to... 637 01:06:41,458 --> 01:06:45,875 In fact, here it is, where everything is open on the table, 638 01:06:46,041 --> 01:06:49,875 just about the search according to the pure truth; 639 01:06:49,958 --> 01:06:53,416 you can look at the ornaments therefore avoid it. 640 01:06:53,833 --> 01:06:56,875 - Here it is... - ,Close-up, very close: 641 01:06:57,583 --> 01:07:00,625 ugly, gaping hunting wound. 642 01:07:02,916 --> 01:07:04,750 caliber bullet. 643 01:07:04,916 --> 01:07:06,250 A close-up. 644 01:07:13,791 --> 01:07:15,791 When I came to again, 645 01:07:15,875 --> 01:07:18,750 I was in my... 646 01:07:22,875 --> 01:07:26,041 I was in a cage. 647 01:07:33,041 --> 01:07:37,416 And for the first time in my life I was without a way out. 648 01:07:37,583 --> 01:07:40,750 Neither left nor right... 649 01:07:41,291 --> 01:07:43,125 I saw no way out. 650 01:07:43,666 --> 01:07:48,083 Mind you, I use the word "way out" with consideration, 651 01:07:48,166 --> 01:07:51,875 I intentionally don't say "freedom." 652 01:07:51,958 --> 01:07:57,208 No, freedom wasn't what I wanted, but a way out. 653 01:07:58,166 --> 01:08:01,083 Out...out... 654 01:09:54,458 --> 01:09:56,125 Okay, we're done, Wim. 655 01:09:57,541 --> 01:09:59,583 - Where is Wim? - Come back a little. 656 01:10:01,708 --> 01:10:03,875 Nick and Ronee were working on a scene, 657 01:10:03,958 --> 01:10:06,625 the vague on Shakespeare's "King Lear" was based. 658 01:10:07,416 --> 01:10:09,541 We had built a small set for it. 659 01:10:10,708 --> 01:10:14,291 But once again it was our reality stronger than fiction, 660 01:10:14,375 --> 01:10:16,500 what we wanted to make her into. 661 01:10:16,583 --> 01:10:18,416 It should be the last time. 662 01:10:30,416 --> 01:10:32,250 Dad? 663 01:10:32,333 --> 01:10:34,583 - Dad, hello. - Hello. 664 01:10:34,666 --> 01:10:36,750 - Good day. - Hello. 665 01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:47,375 How are you doing? 666 01:11:02,958 --> 01:11:04,791 You terrible beast. 667 01:11:05,291 --> 01:11:08,208 You look great. 668 01:11:08,291 --> 01:11:10,291 You haven't changed at all 669 01:11:11,500 --> 01:11:13,083 Finally you are here. 670 01:11:19,500 --> 01:11:21,750 I brought you something sweet. 671 01:11:23,625 --> 01:11:25,000 Do you want to see it? 672 01:11:25,541 --> 01:11:27,166 And a few flowers. 673 01:11:29,166 --> 01:11:32,708 - What kind of flowers? - Lily of the valley. 674 01:11:35,833 --> 01:11:40,208 - What's so funny about that? - These are grave flowers. 675 01:11:51,666 --> 01:11:53,333 How do you feel? 676 01:11:53,416 --> 01:11:55,291 How do you feel? What have they... 677 01:11:58,125 --> 01:12:00,375 They were pretty open with me. 678 01:12:04,708 --> 01:12:05,791 What did they tell you? 679 01:12:05,875 --> 01:12:08,500 When she met me the first time have cut open, 680 01:12:09,666 --> 01:12:12,041 They sewed me up again straight away. 681 01:12:14,625 --> 01:12:16,166 Why? 682 01:12:17,458 --> 01:12:19,458 Hopeless...they thought. 683 01:12:21,750 --> 01:12:24,208 So I got out of the hospital 684 01:12:29,791 --> 01:12:32,208 - and into another. - That was brave of you. 685 01:12:33,708 --> 01:12:35,750 What's in the others? 686 01:12:37,708 --> 01:12:40,250 There was a guy, an Irishman, 687 01:12:41,250 --> 01:12:43,291 pretty good. 688 01:12:43,375 --> 01:12:46,000 He said: "Damn it, I'll do it!" 689 01:12:46,083 --> 01:12:47,791 What? 690 01:12:48,708 --> 01:12:50,458 The cancer of... 691 01:12:51,375 --> 01:12:55,375 remove next to the trachea, 692 01:12:57,375 --> 01:12:58,958 which is pretty risky. 693 01:13:02,416 --> 01:13:03,666 He did that too, 694 01:13:05,500 --> 01:13:07,833 and two other operations... 695 01:13:10,250 --> 01:13:15,416 Immediately afterwards a tumor appeared in the brain. 696 01:13:15,500 --> 01:13:19,458 And you should think, that he appears there first. 697 01:13:19,541 --> 01:13:21,875 Were they connected? 698 01:13:23,625 --> 01:13:25,541 I think so. 699 01:13:25,625 --> 01:13:28,875 What happened to the brain tumor? 700 01:13:28,958 --> 01:13:30,541 He's gone. 701 01:13:30,625 --> 01:13:32,125 - Operated out? - Yes. 702 01:13:35,125 --> 01:13:37,083 When did they tell you? 703 01:13:39,458 --> 01:13:41,208 About a year late. 704 01:13:46,791 --> 01:13:48,375 It's nothing. 705 01:13:54,750 --> 01:13:56,375 It'll be fine. 706 01:13:56,958 --> 01:13:58,708 Aren't you afraid? 707 01:14:07,333 --> 01:14:09,041 No. 708 01:14:23,750 --> 01:14:26,250 Now we have it again a little money... 709 01:14:30,416 --> 01:14:34,375 Half of England belongs to us, 710 01:14:42,583 --> 01:14:44,625 and a piece of ourselves. 711 01:14:48,125 --> 01:14:51,291 And I like this piece of ourselves, 712 01:14:53,125 --> 01:14:54,750 that belongs to us together 713 01:14:57,458 --> 01:15:01,375 It feels like I have part of the building demolished, 714 01:15:02,875 --> 01:15:04,791 all around my ugly face. 715 01:15:06,708 --> 01:15:08,000 Your face is beautiful. 716 01:15:08,916 --> 01:15:11,833 It always was and still is. 717 01:15:22,375 --> 01:15:26,125 - You're a liar. - No, that's not me. 718 01:15:26,208 --> 01:15:28,000 But a beautiful liar. 719 01:15:29,125 --> 01:15:30,500 I'm afraid of lying 720 01:15:31,250 --> 01:15:33,791 and I'm scared from my own lies. 721 01:15:34,666 --> 01:15:36,666 - Did you lie? - Oh, yes. 722 01:15:37,166 --> 01:15:39,875 - Did you lie to me? - Sure. 723 01:15:39,958 --> 01:15:42,291 - Did you lie to mother? - Secure. 724 01:15:42,375 --> 01:15:44,208 Why? 725 01:15:50,541 --> 01:15:53,375 To tell the truth gets boring after a while - 726 01:15:58,041 --> 01:15:59,708 except sometimes. 727 01:16:00,791 --> 01:16:04,125 Sometimes it's exciting to tell the truth, 728 01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:10,250 because no one expects it that you say them. 729 01:16:10,333 --> 01:16:12,083 Not the whole thing. 730 01:16:13,291 --> 01:16:16,583 And then you find yourself suddenly in the middle again, 731 01:16:16,666 --> 01:16:20,083 in the face of God and the world, to tell the truth. 732 01:16:22,708 --> 01:16:24,375 "Hey, what am I doing?" 733 01:16:26,041 --> 01:16:27,833 And you exposed yourself. 734 01:16:29,958 --> 01:16:31,708 This kind of truth is what I mean. 735 01:16:36,500 --> 01:16:38,083 Where are you from? 736 01:17:31,958 --> 01:17:33,708 Firmer. 737 01:17:33,791 --> 01:17:35,875 Can you pinch me harder? 738 01:18:20,041 --> 01:18:22,458 - Wasn't funny, was it? - No. 739 01:18:26,750 --> 01:18:28,541 Could have been funny. 740 01:18:39,958 --> 01:18:43,333 Maybe it would be funnier if I threw up all over you. 741 01:19:31,041 --> 01:19:32,666 Come, my guide. 742 01:19:35,208 --> 01:19:37,125 Leader with tail up. 743 01:19:38,500 --> 01:19:40,375 Your cock or my cock. 744 01:19:40,916 --> 01:19:43,583 Whose cock is Pussy's cock? 745 01:19:57,416 --> 01:19:59,833 Why don't we have anything? 746 01:20:30,625 --> 01:20:32,541 Vivaldi was an ass. 747 01:20:47,250 --> 01:20:49,333 I have a stomach ache because of you. 748 01:20:51,333 --> 01:20:52,958 Do you realize that? 749 01:20:55,166 --> 01:20:56,791 Good. 750 01:20:57,583 --> 01:20:59,208 I don't know why. 751 01:21:01,875 --> 01:21:05,041 - That's why I didn't come. - It's not the first time. 752 01:21:06,083 --> 01:21:07,708 Yes. 753 01:21:11,375 --> 01:21:13,458 My God, I feel sick! 754 01:21:28,041 --> 01:21:30,583 And not from you and not because of you either. 755 01:21:34,666 --> 01:21:36,291 But in front of my eyes. 756 01:21:36,958 --> 01:21:38,541 But I'm sick. 757 01:21:40,916 --> 01:21:42,958 And you make me sick. 758 01:21:44,083 --> 01:21:45,583 But not because of you. 759 01:21:48,208 --> 01:21:50,083 Well I don't know why, 760 01:21:52,500 --> 01:21:55,375 I don't know why, I have to go now. 761 01:21:57,625 --> 01:21:59,541 I'm already starting to babble. 762 01:22:05,083 --> 01:22:07,000 Oh, Merde. 763 01:22:11,958 --> 01:22:13,583 “Merde-pain.” 764 01:22:16,041 --> 01:22:20,083 Okay, okay, I'm done, okay? 765 01:22:21,458 --> 01:22:22,875 What are you doing now? 766 01:22:23,583 --> 01:22:25,208 I say "cut"! 767 01:22:25,791 --> 01:22:26,916 Say: “Cut”? 768 01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:28,750 - Say: "Cut." - Go ahead. 769 01:22:29,458 --> 01:22:30,750 You say, “Cut.” 770 01:22:30,833 --> 01:22:31,958 Come on. Cut! 771 01:22:32,041 --> 01:22:34,541 Cut! Come on. Cut! Do it. 772 01:22:34,625 --> 01:22:36,416 Cut! 773 01:22:36,791 --> 01:22:38,833 - Don't cut. - Don't cut. 774 01:22:42,708 --> 01:22:44,250 Cut! 775 01:22:53,208 --> 01:22:56,416 {\an8}Hard to imagine to do anything other than films. 776 01:22:56,500 --> 01:23:00,041 - He dreamed of sailing in a junk. - Nick is dead. 777 01:23:00,125 --> 01:23:01,916 We just talk about film. 778 01:23:03,000 --> 01:23:04,708 We are all addicted to the film. 779 01:23:13,541 --> 01:23:15,583 The junk was something in between 780 01:23:15,666 --> 01:23:19,458 between a funeral boat and a ship that brings you healing. 781 01:23:19,541 --> 01:23:22,166 I never thought he saw it as healing. 782 01:23:22,250 --> 01:23:26,333 The idea never seemed right. 783 01:23:26,416 --> 01:23:28,458 He would have died sooner without the film. 784 01:23:28,541 --> 01:23:31,625 He played all the time. That was pretty amazing. 785 01:23:31,708 --> 01:23:33,625 He was in pain too. 786 01:23:33,791 --> 01:23:36,625 He tried everything to help... 787 01:23:36,708 --> 01:23:38,125 ...make a film. 788 01:23:38,916 --> 01:23:40,541 Nick was honest. 789 01:23:40,708 --> 01:23:42,708 I think it worked 790 01:23:42,875 --> 01:23:44,750 I don't even know if I liked him. 791 01:23:44,833 --> 01:23:46,333 The film is honest. 792 01:23:49,208 --> 01:23:52,583 - Buried or cremated? - Are you suffering? 793 01:23:52,666 --> 01:23:57,166 - 'Leave my corpse for research. - That's why I... 794 01:23:57,250 --> 01:24:01,708 What are your vital organs? 795 01:24:01,875 --> 01:24:05,583 - I talked to Nick about the scene. - That never happened in life. 796 01:24:05,750 --> 01:24:09,416 At the beginning we didn't know whether we would have the money for the film. 797 01:24:09,583 --> 01:24:14,416 Yes, that always gets lost between Dresden and Wall Street. 798 01:24:19,041 --> 01:24:20,666 Doing what he wanted helps. 799 01:24:21,875 --> 01:24:25,375 Let's put the money on the head! 800 01:24:25,541 --> 01:24:27,333 Let's blow up the windows! 801 01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:35,458 To all the outcasts! To all wanderers! 802 01:24:35,541 --> 01:24:38,291 - Wherever they are. - True. 803 01:24:39,083 --> 01:24:42,291 Let's toast Nick. May he rest in peace. 804 01:24:44,666 --> 01:24:46,250 He has never known peace. 805 01:25:27,916 --> 01:25:30,000 He came running to the car. 806 01:25:30,375 --> 01:25:34,083 He said: "Your film doesn't have an ending?" 807 01:25:34,166 --> 01:25:38,291 In the next scene he was really mean. 808 01:25:38,375 --> 01:25:43,333 It's funny that he found we are the smeared ones. 809 01:25:43,500 --> 01:25:45,541 Yes, that's right. 810 01:25:51,083 --> 01:25:55,500 Claimed by his dying he turned himself in as a director one last time. 811 01:25:55,583 --> 01:25:58,375 He knew he was dying, and wanted so much... 812 01:25:58,458 --> 01:26:01,875 He made us finish the film. 813 01:26:01,958 --> 01:26:03,416 That was the only way he could do it... 814 01:26:03,500 --> 01:26:07,625 - I know. - It should happen just in time. 815 01:26:07,791 --> 01:26:09,916 - It's... - ..a lightning over the water. 816 01:26:18,875 --> 01:26:21,666 We should Burn the damn ship down. 817 01:26:22,875 --> 01:26:24,541 We buried Nicholas Ray on it. 818 01:26:25,000 --> 01:26:28,458 The only thing that remains is burn this boat down. 819 01:26:28,541 --> 01:26:30,541 I have many lamps here. 820 01:26:31,416 --> 01:26:33,541 I'm ready to let her die. 821 01:26:34,791 --> 01:26:37,083 Why not? Let's think about it. 822 01:26:37,166 --> 01:26:39,166 I say: "Burn!" 823 01:26:39,250 --> 01:26:41,750 - Are you crazy or what? - I'm not mistaken. 824 01:26:41,833 --> 01:26:44,125 No, I'm just saying, we should burn it. 825 01:26:44,208 --> 01:26:45,625 Just don't be modest! 826 01:26:45,708 --> 01:26:47,250 Everyone says that, but I... 827 01:26:51,083 --> 01:26:53,041 - No, no. - To destroy everything beautiful. 828 01:26:58,000 --> 01:26:59,958 If cremation is a way to die. 829 01:27:00,041 --> 01:27:04,750 I consider it a better visual Image of burning the whole boat down. 830 01:27:05,666 --> 01:27:09,916 Listen! We have no footage of his cremation. 831 01:27:13,291 --> 01:27:15,416 What would be a setting...? 832 01:27:15,500 --> 01:27:18,833 You're acting like an animal without any rules. 833 01:27:18,916 --> 01:27:20,416 You need certain rules. 834 01:27:20,500 --> 01:27:23,708 - If you're serious... - Burn it down. 835 01:27:23,791 --> 01:27:26,458 - It's not our boat. - We have no right to do this. 836 01:27:26,541 --> 01:27:28,875 - That's no way to start a revolution. - Why not? 837 01:27:28,958 --> 01:27:32,041 - But a great attitude. - If we burn the boat down. 838 01:27:35,291 --> 01:27:37,333 Would you kill for a shot? 839 01:27:37,500 --> 01:27:40,250 You've never had anything to do with violence. Nick does. 840 01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:20,208 "I looked myself in the face. And what did I see? 841 01:28:20,833 --> 01:28:23,791 "Not a granite stone of an identity, 842 01:28:23,875 --> 01:28:26,000 "faded, bluish, haggard skin 843 01:28:26,083 --> 01:28:29,791 "and wrinkled lips and sadness. 844 01:28:30,958 --> 01:28:34,666 "And the wildest urge to recognize and accept it, 845 01:28:34,750 --> 01:28:36,666 "my mother's face." 846 01:28:37,666 --> 01:28:40,500 Nick, Nick, oh, Nick.